Work It! Work It!

{November 19, 2011}   WTf

This is really starting to piss me off.

I did Fire 45 EZ today. My legs were like lead, again. This is exactly what happened last time. It feels like I’m over-training, I just keep getting worse, but I don’t understand how that is possible. I work out less than 1 hour a day, 6 days a week. I also took quite a few days off here recently. I should have felt really great and ready to go. Instead I skipped the second to last part to do the finale and I didn’t even get a minute into it before I stopped. Granted, part of that is mental. I could have finished the finale part, but I was so damn frustrated that my legs felt so weak. I didn’t really see the point.

I’m considering switching over to CX again.  But I didn’t really see any loss with that either.

I wish I knew what I was doing wrong or wtf the problem is.

Next week I will not do Fire 45 EZ. I will do Fire 30 and Fire 55 EZ. Hopefully it’s just that particular work out. By not doing the 45 EZ I will be taking 2 days off.

On a side note, Monday starts month 2 for me.  Not that month 1 was spectacular, but as long as I do tomorrows work out (which I will) then I will have done 22.5 of 28 work outs. That’s not too shabby. If my weight is correct (not that I’m really keeping track, just a random time or two) I will have lost 4 lbs so far. Not much for a month’s worth of work, but whatever.  At least I’m 4 lbs down and not 4 lbs up.

Maybe by the end of next month I will look back on this one and think, what the fuck was problem?


{November 19, 2011}   Back on the wagon

Yesterday I did not work out. I was so tired still. 

Today I did Tone 30. That work out kicks my ass. It also did not help that I had to uncover my vent since my Uncle will be using my room for the next week. It was cold in my room so I closed the window before I worked out. Big mistake. I had to take a break after almost every exercise. Between the heat and the jump in my heart rate from squats and lunges it was too much. 

When I have not worked out in a long time lunges are always the first to go. Well, maybe push ups too.  Doing lunges and arm exercises at the same time is a recipe for self-inflicted injury. I’m so uncoordinated.  Luckily I haven’t hurt myself yet, it just doesn’t make for a graceful work out.


{November 17, 2011}   Vacation

I did not do well while on the trip. First of all, I did awful before I even left. Wednesday i was too worn out to work out, Thursday I had to finish everything I didn’t get done on Wednesday plus go to class. It was a mess.

Luckily I finished everything in time. Unfortunately I was pretty exhausted. We also did not stop until midnight our time 1am our destination time. Since we had to be up before 9am destination time for breakfast I did not get a chance to work out or even brush my teeth. Straight to bed.

The next day we missed breakfast and slept so late that I barely had time to brush my teeth. Margaret also picked fast food for every meal while on the road. I was a bit disappointed and it was all bad. Well the McDonald’s breakfast was decent.

That night, there was no way I was going to work out in front of Joe’s Grandparents and I was still exhausted. Joe had been coughing all night Thursday night, waking me up every couple of hours.

Saturday however, Joe and I walked for over 3 hours. It felt so good to walk around in nice weather and in bright sunlight. Especially knowing it will be the last time for quite awhile.

Sunday I was again too tired by the time we made it to the hotel. It was a great drive, but everything was starting to really catch up. I slept pretty well though and Monday night, when Joe took a nap I did the Stretch 40. It was awesome. I saw a huge increase in my flexibility. My elbows were about 2 inches off the ground for the straddle stretch, my lunges were really deep.

Tuesday I had class and Joe, my brother and I went to a shooting range after. I didn’t realize said shooting range would be an hour away. By the time we got back home, guess what, I was wiped out.

Yesterday Joe left. I was planning on working out after I dropped him off at the train station, but we actually arrived an hour early. Also, the train is about 45 minutes away.

I should have worked out anyway, but I was barely keeping my eyes open.

I am still exhausted today. I thought having a big bed to just myself and the dogs would finally allow me to catch up a little, but it did not. At least not enough.

I tossed in turned too late to work out before class, but I am going to do Fire 30 when I get home. Well, in the evening because I have to shower before class and I don’t want to shower twice right away. Maybe I will take a hot, relaxing bath. Mmmm I need that.

Oh and on the frustrating front, Joe and I broke up October 12th, ish, they picked me up on November 10th. He had already lost 15 lbs and even more inches although his weight is now staying the same. He looks really good. I wanted to punch him in the face.

Although he did give me great motivation to stop drinking all sugary drinks. That’s what he did. Well, a couple days out of the week he replaced two meals with protein shakes. Probably cuz he can’t cook. And he doesn’t eat white carbs any more.

I’m not going all out, but I am done drinking soda/sugary drinks. At least for awhile. I want my belly to go away.

I think I have missed a total of 4 work outs. I’m okay with that. I’m not going to start the week over, I’m not going to beat myself up. (That number is counting 3 hours of walking as a work out and my extra day off that I had planned anyway.)

I’m just going to get back on schedule and go right back to eating on the good mood diet. I am going to be a bit more strict now that I’m back.

It’s so important that I get back in shape and really just do what is best for my body. I just need to keep working on getting through those days I want to cry.

Oh, and I have a “period” tracker on my phone. It works pretty well, but I upgraded yesterday so I can start tracking my moods. I will see if it’s just pms or if I may just need two days off a week instead of one.

{November 10, 2011}   Well It Happened

I missed my work out today.

My dog had the worst bloody diarrhea all day.

Then he almost killed another dog.

My day sucked. I’m going to finish packing the go to bed early.

Right now, I don’t even want to work out tomorrow or while on the trip. I know that’s stupid, but that’s how I feel. I have to take Tux to the vet tomorrow and probably not go to math class. I’m just feeling pretty low right now. Each day is worse than the last. Not low as in “poor me” just low as in, I want to lay on the couch and not move for an entire day.

{November 9, 2011}   Hmmm

After some lengthy though process I realized, grumpy attitude + emotional + abdominal bloating = PMS.

I hope that’s the case anyway.

Also, I decided to stay home today to eat perfectly. I woke up to my Grandma’s freshly baked banana bread.

I had a piece with my GMD breakfast instead of my normal piece of toast. I may have another piece for supper. I never eat enough bread at supper anyway.

{November 9, 2011}   WTF

Today was tone 30. I was literally on the verge of bawling after almost every exercise. I wanted to laid down on the floor and cry my eyes out.

I tried to do really well on my diet today. I even took a shake to my Grandma’s when I went to visit. Unfortunately about 20 minutes later I was still starving. Now I realize it was probably because I didn’t have my usual big glass of water with it.

I ended up eating left over meat loaf and cheesy potatoes.

I feel so fat today. I even told myself this morning, when I noticed that I had a neck roll as I was combing my hair, that that’s the reason I’m working out. Eventually it will go away, if I stop it will only get worse.

I feel like my stomach is getting even bigger.

I kept thinking, though out my work out, about how last time, when I was doing really well, even with my eating, I didn’t have the changes that other people have in their before, month 1, month 2, and after photos. I didn’t look any different. I lost 7.6 lbs in 6 weeks.

I know, it’s better than nothing, but I could lose more weight with just weight watchers and sitting on my ass.

I know, I was gaining muscle mass. Maybe.

By the last 10 minutes I was feeling better though. I started noticing a few things to like about my body. My calves look nice and lean when I do a certain exercise. During that same exercise my arms look lean and muscular. Kind of like I want them to look when I’m not doing any exercise at all.

When I was driving earlier today, my wrist looked like a thin person’s wrist.

Why is it that I don’t really start hating my body until I start trying to change it?

I was so mad at myself for gaining so much in the first place. If I could go back to October 2007 I would tell myself, under no circumstances should you move 2 hours away from your school!

I can’t change the past and I know I just have to keep going.

Tomorrow I was planning on going to paint with Lynn, but I’m staying home. I’m not letting myself fuck up my diet at all. I have to get over this shitty mood. I am leaving for Florida on Thursday and I don’t want being away from home and my bad attitude to combine and keep me from working out while I’m gone. I can already feel myself planning on skipping the work outs. That’s not acceptable. I have to stick to my work outs. I’m almost finished with the month. This is day 2 of week 3. I have a little over a week and a half to go.

Even my inspiration board was making me depressed.

Maybe this bad attitude is my fat’s version of “I’m melting, I’m melting. What a world! What a world!”

Yeah, that’s what it is.

{November 8, 2011}   Grouchy Mood Update

After my work out I had my feel good snack of cranberries/cashews/v8 and water. Then for dinner I wasn’t very hungry and I was feeling pretty grouchy still, with a side of lazy bones. Or more specifically, pouty I don’t want to do anything because none of it really matters.

I made a very simple fish and baked potato for dinner. Usually I would make a veggies for a side, but like I said, lazy bones.

Almost an hour after I started eating and I’m pretty happy. My brain is all: “Tra La La La La.”

I think that is part of the reason I fall off any wagon I hop on. I stop doing what makes me feel good. Then I feel bad. Those bad feelings make me think, why bother. I don’t bother.

I’m also very sleepy. I’m going to have my hot chocolate in about an hour and then I will probably hit the bed earlier than usual.

{November 8, 2011}   UGH!

I am in a PISSY mood. I am so grumpy. My work out sucked so hard.

If you haven’t noticed my diet has not been the best. Of course, I’m still taking it easy on myself, but today, for instance, I went to paint with my friend Lynn. Well, we paint at her cafe. She gets really pissed when people bring in food or drinks to her place. Even though I’m there for hours so we can paint together I feel like I am obligated to buy her food instead of bring my shakeology. Her food is great, don’t get me wrong, but it’s expensive and I want to eat healthy.

Wednesday I will bring a shake and my snacks just because it’s about more than not offending a friend.

My breakfasts have been good, it’s really been the dinners that get me. I haven’t had fish for dinner in quite a few days. Tonight, my priority is to eat the fish.

Back to my work out. BAAAAAAAAHHHHH! It was awful. I feel like I’m getting worse. I know that’s a sign of over working, but I don’t know if it’s really over working or eating shitty. The fact that all my muscles felt tight even though yesterday was a stretch day leads me to think it’s really just over working. Or at least over working is part of it.

Also, everything went wrong. My fan quit working half way through and again, I live with my Gram’s right now so seriously hot house. By the end, my skin felt like it was on fire. I couldn’t get the moves down so I was always a move behind or on the wrong leg/hand. I had to stop a couple of times to catch my breath and three times I had to get more water. I was so tight during the 10 minute stretch.

Clearly my attitude was taking a day off.

On my calendar I have written out all of my work outs until April. This week I am going to Florida for a few days so I had to move my day off. This means that the last day we are on the road coming back is Fire 45 EZ. I was planning on trying my best to get it in. Depending on how late we get back. I also have a county board meeting to go to that night. It’s pretty important that I don’t miss it.

However, I think I will plan to take that day off. I think if I rest from the Fire 45 EZ one week I should feel better the following week.

I think looking forward to a week with out this particular routine, to give my mind and body a rest, will help with my attitude. Over working has been my down fall in the past. It is so frustrating to see yourself getting worse instead of better when you are working so damn hard. I won’t do that to myself again.

The next 2 weeks look like this : tone 30/stretch 10, fire 30/stretch 10, stretch 40, core 20/stretch 10, day off, stretch 40, fire 45 ez/or day off, tone 30 stretch 10, day off, fire 30/stretch 10, core 20/stretch 10, fire 45 ez, core 20/stretch 10.

I would still be getting in a fire 45 ez next week. I just wouldn’t be getting two.

I’m pretty sure I’m okay with that. I’d rather plan and take an extra day off than get burnt out and quit.

My face right now: 😡

{November 7, 2011}   The Honeymoon Is Over

Yesterday I did not want to work out at all. That probably had to do with the gray weather, the way to much sleep and way too much bad food. However, once I was changed into my work out clothes I was ready to go. After all it was only 40 minutes of stretching and I planned to take a very hot and relaxing bath after.

It was hard to do the updog poses because, even though I waited 3 hours after I ate Sunday dinner with the fam., I was so full.

Today is Fire 45 EZ. My least favorite work out and not something I am looking forward to.

I am going to be very strict with the good mood diet for today though. I’m hoping by the time I am finished painting I will feel better about it. I’m gonna do it. I just really don’t want to. Meh, it happens to us all and I know that once I am over the first half I will get really into it and be so happy I did it…blah blah blah. lol

Oh and even though I am not going out of my way to look in any mirrors, my Grandma has 3 full-length mirrors. Two of which are hard to avoid. Also the mirror in the bathroom, across from the shower is a decent size. When I catch a glimpse that is not favorable I just tell myself, “At least I don’t look any worse than when I started!” I also keep thinking about April. If I just keep going, by April I will be in fantastic shape. I will be able to run a Mud Runner if I want. I will be able to get rid of a ton of clothes that will be too big.

Speaking of how in shape I will be, last night during the straddle stretch (legs straight and apart, back flat and hands on the floor) I was able to get my elbows about 6 inches off the ground instead of straight arms or slightly bent. My hamstrings are really becoming flexible. I was also able to hold my arms up through all the Warrior 1 and 2 poses. My shoulder strength is notoriously weak so I am happy for that improvement. Especially after all the tricep pushups, which I was able to go lower on while on my toes.

Basically I’m starting to feel like I have decent flexibility instead of flexibility like my 80+ yr old Grandma. It’s kind of sad when a 29 yr old has to grunt to get off the floor.

{November 5, 2011}   I had an idea.

It’s kind of a gross idea so I would understand if you don’t make it all the way through the post. Hopefully you aren’t that easily offended though.

So I noticed something. When I drink coffee, a natural caffeine, usually before I am half way finished with the cup I have to go. Like, number 2.

However, when I drink soda, I don’t. The more soda I drink the less I have to go number 2.

So, if the sodium in soda causes you to retain water and the soda causes you to go number 2 less, talk about some serious bloating!

I don’t know, maybe most people don’t have this problem. My body does seem to be very sensitive to what I put in it.

I just thought it was one more reason to drink less soda. Get that shit outta me, literally. What am I putting in my body? What is that soda doing to my body? Could that possibly be a reason people are developing colon cancer more now than say 50 years ago? I don’t know, probably not, but just a thought.

If you care to share, does the same thing happen to you? Is it the opposite?

et cetera