Work It! Work It!

{June 22, 2011}   Should I still use week/day as a title?

I would probably start over if I did.

I noticed something very sad yesterday. You know how your body changes, but because you are always around your body (hard to avoid and all that) you are usually the last to notice? 😦 All the biceps I built up with CX are GONE.  I know I shouldn’t be surprised, it’s been months since I really worked out. I can’t believe it’s been that long, but it has.

I am still working on the idea of working out. The one that I had in the last post. I was thinking of working out with fun stuff, then when I felt like a harder work out doing TF until I was sick of it and going back to the fun stuff. Whatever it would take to keep me going. I realized though and this is my main hurdle with the TF work outs, that the most important part of the TF schedule is the HIIT work outs. Granted I could just use the HIIT work out month and on the next month I could do fun stuff, but I already mentioned that I don’t push myself very hard during fun work outs so I wouldn’t get as much benefit.  My OCD tendencies (I have a few) say that I can’t do that. I must get all the benefits from the program. My logical tendencies (I have a few of those as well) say that it’s better to do something than nothing and I really just need to get off my ass.

So for now, especially since I’m moving very soon and will have my schedule all messed up again, I am going with the fun work outs. Although I should call them informal work outs.

I will most likely do the combination I said earlier, the HIIT work outs and then the month of “fun” work outs.   But I’m sure I will change my mind a million times between then and now.


As for food:

This is my 4th day back on WW/GMD. The first 2 days went pretty well, although each day I did go a point or so over.  I was planning on just letting myself have a week to settle in and use up my weekly points a little here and there instead of on a cheat day. Yesterday, however, I was sick again. I don’t get this.  It’s pretty awful.  It actually started the night before. I felt like I was about to have a panic attack for several hours. Just antsy and like something was sitting on my chest. I almost asked Joe for a Xanax, but I decided to wait it out. It was better later on and I went to bed. I woke up pretty grouchy/gloomy/unrested.  I barely ate anything for breakfast, 2 hard-boiled eggs and an orange.  Then the panic feelings started to come back. My only thought on what caused this was the abrupt change in chemicals going on in my brain from the GMD.  I don’t know if you have any experience with certain medications, but  sometimes the dose can be too high.  I know a diet isn’t a medication, but this diet is using the body’s own chemistry/biology to replace the chemicals most people get from drugs. The chemicals I would get from drugs if they didn’t give me way worse side-effects.   Any way.  I decided to just get some Burger King for lunch. I didn’t feel like making anything, the heat caused the bananas we just bought to go bad (I tried to eat one before I went to BK,) and I really wanted some comfort food/to get out of the house. I realized walking over there that I was trying to alleviate the anxiety I was feeling and that I really had absolutely no idea how to deal with those emotions other than comfort food, even after more than a decade of therapy. I’ am much better with the major anxiety I used to have and I’m sure I learned somethings along the way, but I must have forgotten.  I will need to work on that at some point very soon. (I also made sure that I was going to be with in my points range and I had planned on drinking a shakeology drink for a light dinner.)

After lunch I started feeling really ill.  Actually, with in the first couple of bites of lunch. I don’t know if it was the greasy food or the anxiety, or since Joe was feeling ill too, maybe the hard-boiled eggs.   I laid on the couch in his office* with the AC turned up all day. (I finally got on the Glee wagon and watched the last of season 2.)  After work Joe went to a friend’s going away party and I stayed on the couch. He brought me home some cupcakes and giordanos pizza.  Only the most delicious pizza ever made! I have no idea how many points a slice is and I didn’t care. I was starving, yet still queasy. I only managed one piece before I cried uncle.

The plan was actually to eat some more to day, preferably with an ice-cold pepsi.  My first thought upon waking was, “Girl, you are at 200 lbs, you can not afford a few more days of junk food.)  That’s when I knew the rest of that pizza was Joe’s.  Although if I get sick again today (last week it lasted 3-4 days) I will probably be eating it because I won’t be up to making food.

Luckily I feel great right now. I am taking a break from cleaning out my books for donation and then I’m going to really start packing.


*Joe’s office is an amazing game room. He does no work of any kind in there. He just has a bad ass gaming computer and about 12 different chess and monopoly boards. There are bookshelves though, with actual books on them. Aside from the text books he’s never read them.  His filing cabinet is filled with Wii/GameCube games and controllers.  There are various swords, knives and a scythe on the wall.   This room has caused us a bit of friction. Not because I hate it or think he shouldn’t have it, but because he is/was really jealous that I have a studio and an office (2 separate rooms because the rooms are very tiny) in our apartment. I actually work from home.  These rooms serve a purpose, but he claims I am taking over the apartment and he just gets one tiny room all to himself.  One tiny room for his games, weapons, and weights.  I don’t know why I’m putting this on my work out blog, but I find it humorous. After I pointed out the ridiculousness of the situation he stopped harping on me, however, I know he can’t wait until I move out so he can have it all to himself.


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