Work It! Work It!

{January 30, 2011}   Week 7 Day 3

Oatmeal (Although, about a quarter spilled out, into the microwave)


Turbo Avocado Wrap with a sandwich flat instead of tortilla

Fish, green beans, rice.

Exercise: Burn It Off/Ab Burner

I did not want to do abs today, almost didn’t. Then I said, “Damn it Elisha, it’s 9 minutes. Get off your ass.” Sometimes I need the voice in my head to really tell it like it is.  I’m glad I did because I was able to do ALL the ab exercises, although I did have to pause for a few reps during the ones where you are a 45 degree angle and tapping the floor with alternating elbows. So hard! I was just proud that I was able to do all the bicycle ones. Normally I have to sit those out.

I am also glad that I have multiple cardio workouts to choose from. I thought I was going to do Turbo Jam today, but then I realized I did not feel like punching and kicking. I felt like working out like an athlete.   It was a good. I did not have to stop after every exercise on the first half like I did last time. I still sat out the lateral lunges, but next week I will not. (I just saw on my schedule, that I did not read because I thought I knew it, that I should have done fire 30 today. Oh well. I will stick to the schedule from now on.)

I am having one of those days where I feel like I haven’t changed at all. I feel like over the last few days my body has just morphed back into what it was before. Joe says it hasn’t so I will believe him. Although working out showed me that I’m at least still in as good of cardio shape as I was and even better than last week. Some days that’s what I need to focus on. My mind may be having a “fat day,” but my body is having an “I’m-gonna-kick-this-workout’s-butt day.”


{January 29, 2011}   Week 7 Day 2!

3 more weeks until I am in the double digits! Wow.




Exercise: Push Circuit 1/Stretch 10

{January 28, 2011}   Even More Thoughts. *With Edits

Who knew I had so many?

I woke up EARLY.  7:30. Although I did lay in bed another 15 minutes because my alarm wasn’t set to go off until 8am.  Luckily for me, Joe took care of the dogs before he went to work so I did not have to. I got straight to my work out like a good little fitness girl. I was going to just do Fire 45 EZ to get it out of the way for the week, however I realized that tomorrow would be a rest day and I don’t want to take it! That’s right. I had my rest day.  So I did Push Circuit 1 and stretch 10. That made me very happy. That work out is my fave, at least until Saturday when I do Push Circuit 2.

Last night I started feeling much better after Joe and I ate dinner. (Not a healthy dinner btw) We caught Wipe Out, which is the absolute best show. Okay, maybe not, but if you like seeing people voluntarily get smacked in the face or shot into the air and that sort of thing gives you the belly laughs over and over, then I highly recommend it.

One of my goals is to laugh like that more and that show fills the requirement. I don’t know how I always forget about it, but I’m so happy they moved it to the winter.  After the show, Joe and I went our separate ways for a few hours. Then we watched funny youtube videos for about an hour.  It really helped. Also, Joe and I talked over dinner.  He helped keep me going.

I can’t say if working out helped shorten the length of time I felt bad and I can’t say I won’t relapse in a week or so when there’s still no sign of medication, but I will happily tell you that the commitment I made to myself to complete this round of the hybrid (with the combination of funny videos) did not allow me to sleep in today.

You know how people say,” people who succeed do so, not because they never fail (or have hard days) they do so because they get back up,” or something to that effect, well I really feel that right now. As long as I keep going, the past few days don’t have to defeat me.  I’m back on track.

*My awesome friend Katie texted me a nice little text that helped me put on my shoes in the morning. She’s a great friend.

**Although I felt really good right after my work out, about an hour later I started feeling very depressed again. I took matters into my own hands, filled the prescription I think is the only one I need and I tried it. It worked. I still have to wait for the other one before I can continue taking this one, but I’m glad to know for sure that I am right to keep pushing for this kind of medication.  I am just going to continue to work on strengthening my weak areas until I can get on this drug and really get going.  It gives me encouragement to know that I was not fighting so hard for so long for nothing.  Sometimes, when you feel you are right with every bone in your body you just have to do it anyway. You may not always be right, but at least you don’t need to wonder any more.

{January 28, 2011}   Week 7 Day 1!

I am up .6 lbs.

I don’t regret yesterday though. Even if the .6 lbs is muscle I still could have evened it out or even dropped a lb of fat by eating healthy and doing the work out. I’m okay with that though. As long as I am making steady progress I am fine. My body fat is actually down a tenth of a percent and I lost a little bit in the inches as well.

You can check out my updated inches on the weekly measurements page.

Total Inches Lost So Far: 9.5

Total Pounds Lost So Far: 7.4 lbs

Total Body Fast Lost So Far: 1.9%



12 Almonds


Small amount of left overs from last night. They were for Joe, but it didn’t happen.

I am definitely an emotional eater. I don’t know why, but really good food makes me happier than anything. Well maybe not anything, but at least happier than most things and with a lot less effort. I don’t need to think happy thoughts or convince myself it will all be okay. I just have to open my mouth.  I don’t want to be an emotional eater. I was actually making my healthy lunch when I saw the left overs in the fridge. I became ridiculously happy at just the thought of eating it. I wasn’t thinking, “I’m sad, I want to shove my face full of food to forget about the pain.” It was more, “I’m really sad, oh hey, that’s really delicious food right there.”

I’ve been having a pretty tough day. I thought I was okay with what the doctor came up with, but then I realized I wasn’t. I also realized that even if the doctor is right I can’t find out until I find out how to get my meds for free or save up 430 dollars for 60 pills.  That’s only for 1 prescription.  I hate spending that kind of money and not even knowing if it’s going to work or worse cause me really bad reactions.

Luckily I have 30 pages of applications and hopefully a free clinic that will help me get my meds one way or another.

I know that working out will make me feel better, but I’m not able to pull it together to get out of bed.

I asked Joe if he would take the dogs out before he goes to work so I can just work out right when I get up. I want to make sure I don’t get a head ache tomorrow night (I am prone to headaches and have been getting them regularly the last week or so) or I don’t feel too tired or too sad to work out. I think that working out first thing will get me out of the funk and help me feel better the rest of the day. Even if it doesn’t at least I can lay in bed guilt free.

{January 27, 2011}   Cont’d.

Right after I wrote that last post Joe came in and wanted to nap. Since I work out in the room he was soon sleeping in I decided that was my excuse. I could have taken my lap top into my studio, but like I said I wasn’t feeling very committed.

There are going to be days when I am too emotionally and physically worn out to talk myself into a work out. That’s just how life goes. Yes I know I would have felt better after a work out. I know that I would not have regretted working out, but I will have to work through my regret of not working out.  However, once I start beating myself up for days that I already feel worn down I will keep doing it.  I will stop wanting to work out all together. That’s not an option for me.

I’m not going to turn this into an excuse to talk down to myself. Yes working out is being good to myself, but once in awhile, allowing myself space to not worry about anything is good too. Tomorrow will be a better day. I don’t have to worry about that Dr. apt any more.  I think that how I managed every other day of the week is something to be proud of. Maybe tomorrow I will come up with a list of rewards or nice things that I can do for myself that has nothing to do with food or exercise. I want exercise to be like brushing my teeth, well it’s not going to be like that over night. I’m working towards it and finding out what I need from myself to make that happen. So if you have any ideas for things I can do on the most stressful days to boost my spirits that have nothing to do with food or exercise I would love to hear them. Next time I will try some.

{January 26, 2011}   The Food That Wasn’t.

Yesterday I was freaking out a bit.

I felt I did really good all week and didn’t want to stop the roll I was on. I don’t know why it was so important yesterday than it has been in weeks past. I’m not sure it was a good thing. I had Xanax later in the evening and calmed down enough to realize that even if I ate the McDonald’s breakfast I normally eat and the Panera lunch I could still eat a light dinner and come in under 1800 calories. Would it be the healthiest calories? No. But not every day can be perfect and if I start freaking out about what I am eating then it’s not going to be fun/healthy/good any more. I know that the main reason I was freaking out was because of the Dr. apt and the cute puppy being killed by the neighbor’s dogs.  I also didn’t want to use the Dr’s or associated stress as an excuse to eat poorly.

I couldn’t figure out if I was trying to make life easier on myself by eating McDonald’s or if I was just looking for a way to be allowed. I think that since I freaked out so much at the thought of it I was not looking for an excuse. I mean, if I wanted it bad enough I could just go eat it. But sometimes getting up that early, I need something to look forward to. I wish it wasn’t food. Soon it won’t be, but I still need to be patient with myself.

I shouldn’t have worried so much though because we didn’t even go to McDonald’s. Well we did, we just didn’t eat. The drive thru line was crazy so we decided to run inside and get it to go.  We opened the door and the 2nd worst smell I have ever experienced hit me right in the face. I wish I could say this in a more polite way, but I don’t believe I can get the message across. It smelled like Shit.  Not like someone passed gas and it was just a bit smelly.  It was so bad that I could not wait the 2 minutes to order my food and leave. I had to turn around and go.  I could not believe it. I still can’t. WTF.  We made it about 30 seconds before I told Joe we had to leave.

We ended up eating at Au Ba Pain or however it’s spelled. It was good, but I am sure I ate worse there than I would have at McDonald’s.  I had a Mt. Dew and a cinnamon roll with an egg and cheese cibbata. Although I did not eat all my food at Panera later.

I don’t know about a work out tonight. It’s mine and Joe’s 4 yr anniversary. He said he wanted to do something even though we are going to go to a show on Friday (a Super Mario Bros. Burlesque show! I’m so excited!)  I could work out right now.  I’m just not sure how committed I am today. It’s been a long and exhausting day. It’s only 323pm.  I’m not sure how I feel about the dr. apt. I kind of just want to take a second rest day this week. Although I have been known to change my mind before. If we stay in I’m sure I will work out. If we go out I’m sure I would rather focus on my boyfriend and our day than worry about missing a work out. Maybe I can get him to take me for some lobster. LOL.mmmmm

Some days my fight for solid mental health wears me down more than others. I knew today would be one of those days, I had just hoped it wouldn’t be.

{January 26, 2011}   Thoughts and Mentality


I’m sorry, but if you don’t eat all day you are no more healthy than some one who is obese.

Also I hate, hate, hate it when someone else makes a comment about another person’s body. It’s none of your business. I’m not saying I’m perfect, I do make comments too, usually like “I love her body”, but I will not tell someone else what their body should look like.  It seems like our society has made it a right that other people can tell you their opinion about your body. When men tell women what they think is the perfect body or that a woman should lose weight. F* that. When another woman tells someone to lose weight, who the hell are you?  My business is what my body looks like. That’s it.

Why does this woman care so much about everyone else’s body? Yeah I think it’s good to know what we put in our body and how it effects the brain and chemicals inside the body, but to be offensive about other people and tell them they are not healthy when you don’t eat all day is rude, hypocritical, and very small minded.

I never heard of this woman before and the only reason I know about her now is because I was reading Skinny Emmie’s blog.   This is the only article I have ever read about her.  I also have a pet peeve about people trying to convince people to think like them by being mean and negative. Which is the reason I don’t like most Fox news programs or Michael Moore.  The are just preaching to the choir and won’t actually change anyone’s mind.  They are just causing people to dig further into their beliefs. Same with this lady. She clearly has her own emotional issues with food that she needs to deal with.

Give your body what it needs to function properly and I guarantee you will reap the benefits. It’s impossible not to.  Don’t listen to other people with their weird agendas. Listen to your own body and listen to me when I say, your body wants function at it’s highest level, so let it. You don’t need to do anything crazy.

{January 25, 2011}   Week 6 Day 6


Coffee (I accidentally used a whole cup of milk instead of just half. I guess I really needed the coffee)

I feel like the coffee is no longer helping me wake up, it seems to be making the problem worse. I think I’m finished with it.

I am excited to announce I worked out before lunch! Unfortunately I slept in so my lunch was going to be at 4. I worked out then so now my lunch is at 5. My normal dinner is at 6.  I doubt I will have dinner. I did make myself eat almonds while I was waiting for my lunch and my lunch is bigger than it would have been.  I will also probably have a hot chocolate again before bed.

I would say maybe tomorrow, but I will be out  most of the day. I want to work out before I leave but we have to leave before 8am. I know that’s not early for a lot of people, but for me, that’s CRAZY. Who does that?!!!!

For Lunch I am having more of that chili stuff over a baked potato and sour cream. I want to make sure I get plenty of protein after that strength work out. I tried to add cottage cheese, but it tasted a bit off. I have a weird almost compulsive thing with food. If the milk container says it’s good for another 3 or 4 days, but I even get a hit of it not being right I can not drink it. I will gag all over the place. Joe says it’s fine. I say he can have it.

*It’s now 646pm and I’m starting to get hungry again. Maybe I will have dinner after all. I wish I had an avocado because a Turbo wrap would be awesome right about now. Maybe I will just have a pbj english muffin. MMMM I think I shall. Most likely won’t have the hot chocolate though. I want to make sure I don’t stay up half the night going to the bathroom.

I am considering have McDonald’s Breakfast tomorrow. I am going to look up the calories for what I want to have and decide after that.  I know I shouldn’t, but the last thing I want to think about tomorrow is food. *Just looked at their options. It’s a lot. Although I will only have their egg and sausage plus a hasbhrown. I just don’t know if I want to eat that many calories for so little food. I don’t know the real amount of calories because I never eat the biscuit, but I’m sure with a drink it will be over 500.  The main problem is that I know I will be too tired to make the oatmeal and we really don’t have anything else right now.   I have to be up by 7 am.  The real problem is that we will probably have to go out for lunch as well because we have other things that must be done tomorrow after the Dr. Appt.  It’s frustrating that I am not better prepared for this.

My Grandma’s puppy died today.  It’s a crazy story, but needless to say, I don’t like hearing my Grandma upset. It gives me a sad.  That dog was also the sweetest, nicest cutest puppy. He was so floppy and bouncy. It’s sad.

Exercise: Push Circuit 3/Stretch 10

Only 2 more times doing the push circuits! That’s exciting. I really love this circuit though so I will miss it. I am sure the Lean Circuit will be just as awesome though.

{January 25, 2011}   Week 6 Day 5

Fruit and Nut Muffin!

I wanted the oatmeal again, but I promised Joe I would use minimal dishes today.


Left overs from last night over baked potato

I swear I have pics but I can’t find the cord to hoot the camera up.


It didn’t help yesterday or today with my sleepiness. I think I will try working out before lunch tomorrow to avoid feeling like I’m not going to do it.

Left overs from last night over an avocado. MMMM made me feel better again, slightly.  It’s the omega 3’s I’m sure. Avocado’s just do something for me.

I am stressing out big time. I don’t want to work out at all, but I know that if I do I will feel better. Especially because it’s turbo jam tonight and with turbo jam I can really get into it and work out my anxiety. Not to mention Extreme Abs! The doctor apt on Wednesday has my stomach in knots. I’m surprised I could eat at all. I am going to take a hot bath after working out and with a mug of hot chocolate before bed I hope I can relax. Maybe I will be able to save the Xanax for tomorrow night.

I forgot to mention that a pair of leather knee high boots that I bought over the summer are now easy to zip up! As in, it just zips right up, no pinching the sides together. I would think the leather was just stretching out if the last time I wore them they weren’t still just as tough to put on. Yea for smaller calves!

Exercise: Turbo Jam/Extreme Abs.

I did abs first because a lot of the time I don’t want to do them after a cardio work out so, to make sure I do them they will be first.

I think I am lifting too heavy of weights for my legs. I feel like cardio-wise, I could go a little harder, but my legs are too tired to really go for it. Joe agrees with me. My first clue should have been that I was going heavier than Chalene. Only by 5 lbs, but still. I will go down to 15 or 20 lbs and if I feel like that’s too light I will go lower into the move instead of heavier. Hopefully that will allow me to really push myself during the cardio.

{January 24, 2011}   Week 6 Day 4

Apple Cinnamon Walnut Oatmeal.

300 calories

This is so good on these awful winter days. It has just enough flavor.

Snack: Coffee!


Lunch: Turbo Avocado Wrap (on a sandwich flat)

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE this?!



Dinner: OMG I don’t know what to call this, but it’s sort of chili on top of an avocado with shredded cheddar and light sour cream.

I got it off a clean eating thread at I probably shouldn’t have had any more avocado today, but I couldn’t help it. I’ve been trying to make this for about a week now. It is amazing.

2 lbs lean ground beef (I always get at least the 96/4 but try to get the lowest they have)

Chili Beans

V8 (the recipe says a can, I added enough to just see it at the top of the meat, it was almost all gone by the time it was finished cooking)

Cayenne Pepper

(I added half an onion, some diced up tomatoes, chili powder and garlic salt)

Brown the ground beef and put it all in a crock pot for a few hours. I simmered mine on the stove for about 30 minutes.

Put on top of an avocado, add some shredded cheddar and some light sour cream.  Drool like Homer Simpson over some donuts.

(look back for a picture tomorrow)

This makes a big pot. I have no idea the calories or the serving size. I used 2 scoops from a shallow cooking spoon.  I am waiting to hear back on the thread. I should probably check that.  I look forward to eating this over the next couple of days and trying it out with other things. Although I don’t know what could beat the avocado. At least I know I am set for lunch for the next couple of days and possibly dinner on Wednesday.  Oh, a baked potato. That’s what I will try tomorrow at lunch.

I should have a third snack, I am pretty sure I did not get up to 1500 calories, but if I eat now I won’t have enough time before I go to sleep. I may have a small hot chocolate any way.

I am done trying not to have a cheat day. I feel like I’m being pressured not to have one. Not by anyone in general, just by thinking that I could be losing another lb or possibly 2 each week if I didn’t have a cheat day.  But then I think, I would hate not having a cheat day. Plus I’m losing steadily while enjoying the process. That is so much more important than just losing weight fast. Actually, it’s key. I don’t think it gets any more fundamental than that.  And the best part is that later, if I really feel like I can go with out a cheat day then it will be because that’s what I want.

I am also going to try and force myself to eat 1500 calories a day. I thought it was good that if  I had less, but now I’m wondering if that’s actually a factor in why I felt so weak. Don’t get me wrong, I will not be doing Fire 45 this week. I just know it’s really important to make sure I’m getting enough calories to support the changes in my body.

Exercise: Push Circuit 2/Stretch 10

I have really made sure to do that stretch 10 lately. Sometimes I blow it off. It goes by really fast though so I am going to stop blowing it off.

I felt MUCH better today. Maybe not 100%, but very close. I’m going to go ahead and do the cardio and abs tomorrow 😀

It was difficult for me to get started today. I felt very crampy after lunch. I started to get a bad head ache and feel very tired too. I tried to take a nap after I had a big glass of water and some excedrine, but the coffee did it’s job just enough that sleep was lost.  The great news is that after eating dinner I stopped feeling crampy and my head ache sort of started to go away.  I thought I better get to the work out before my body changes it’s mind. At first the head ache was not helping matters (probably why I was not at 100%), but by the end my head ache was gone.  And I feel like it was another day that I beat temptation! I love those days when I really think I won’t get a work out in because I’m not feeling good, then BAM! I get it done. It feels like I really achieve something on those days.

I tried to take my hot bath tonight, but Joe used the hot water doing dishes. I took a luke warm bath. Not as nice. I will try again tomorrow.

Read the rest of this entry »

et cetera